


You Say the Words that I Can't Say

by deadmansbones



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Romance, but just for like a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 22:49:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4323795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadmansbones/pseuds/deadmansbones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yosuke visits Shichiri Beach one last time before Souji's departure. Things don't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Say the Words that I Can't Say

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't wrote anything in soo long. Seeing as P4 is my main obsession at the moment I thought why not!!  
> this is vaguely inspired off the scene in PQ where yosuke talks about how he envisions his first kiss to be

Yosuke sat on the stairway ledge of Shichiri Beach, awkwardly shifting his phone from hand to hand. Honestly, he was an idiot. Who comes out to the beach in the middle of winter? No one, that’s who.  


He bundled closer into his sweater, hoping to savor any amount of warmth he could get. Still, he continued to stare at his phone. He had texted Souji almost twenty minutes ago and he expected the dude to at least have sent some sort of reply by now. Even a simple ‘no, I can’t make it’ would have been fine.  


Yosuke winced. He sounded incredibly desperate, even by his standards.  


He didn’t know if he could handle this cold any longer; this may have been much more of a horrible plan than he originally thought. Honestly he didn’t need someone passing by and ridiculing him for sitting by himself, considering he already got enough crap as it is from Inaba and its handful of citizens.  


Nerves began to settle in Yosuke’s gut. Why was he even here? He could talk to Souji anytime he wanted to—so why here of all places? It had been on a whim, a sporadic thought that had popped into his head leaving him with an overwhelming feeling of want. It felt pretty enticing then, but now he just felt stupid. With Souji’s departure inching closer and closer, Yosuke’s feelings have been consistently jumbled, almost frustratingly so. Yosuke fiddled with his headphones hoping to pass time, switching between both his music player and phone, hoping to see a response from Souji.  


“Come on, Partner,” Yosuke whined to himself.  


Ten more minutes had passed before Yosuke began contemplating leaving; it was now or never.  


Just as he got up off the icy ledge, he heard a familiar voice behind him.  


“Yosuke,” Souji said, voice heavy with exhaustion, each syllable of his name emitting an icy breath.  


“Partner?” Yosuke said, a slight laugh in his voice as he turned around facing Souji. His face was covered in a hint of pink, making it clear that he had rushed here. Not to mention he looked a little disheveled, which was a surprising look for Souji of all people.  


Just as Yosuke was going to begin a blunder of apologies for disturbing him, Souji cut him off. “I’m sorry. I saw your text right when my phone was about to die, and I was already shopping in Okina, so I raced over. You sounded awfully worried.”  


“Souji,” Yosuke laughed, stopping his best friend before he could ramble even more, “It’s okay! Dude, just sit down and take a breather.” Souji nodded, taking a seat next to Yosuke on the stairway.  


“Why are you sitting on this? It’s so icy. I’m pretty sure I’m going to freeze,” Souji questioned, frowning slightly as he shifted to get comfortable on the stiff ledge way.  


Yosuke shrugged. “I don’t know, beats standing the entire time, right?” Souji hummed in response and began to gaze at the ocean before them. Despite it being cold as hell, the beach’s beauty wasn’t stifled. It was as great as before when he and the rest of the Investigation Team gathered here for a trip. God that had been a nightmare. But at least then he still had time to spend with the entire team before Souji’s departure.  


“So, Yosuke, why did you call me out here? As nice as the view is I’m pretty sure it wasn’t to gaze at the ocean all day,” said Souji.  


“Hey! Who says that’s not my plan?” Yosuke defended, “What’s so bad about watching the ocean view with your best bud?”  


Souji shifted slightly, “Nothing, but you did sound awfully worried in your text. Let’s not forget about that.”  


Yosuke played with the sleeve of his turquoise sweater, avoiding Souji’s gaze.  


“Oh,” Yosuke began, “Honestly it was nothing? Just felt like seeing you, I guess.” As soon as those words left Yosuke’s mouth he instantly regretted it, especially as he saw Souji’s face light up.  


“Aw, how sweet, Yosuke,” Souji said, a small smile on his face.  


“H-Hey! Don’t get the wrong idea! You know what I meant.”  


“I know, just teasing.”  


“You’re good at doing that, aren’t you partner?” Yosuke grumbled.  


“Maybe just a little.”  


Honestly, he was. A fact that bothered Yosuke just a little—no—a lot, actually. Maybe it was the fact that his first genuine best friend would be gone in a matter of days, but everything his partner said or did left him on edge, left him feeling chaotic and confused and clueless. He was looking too much into this he was sure. He looked too much into everything.  


“Are you alright, Yosuke?” Souji said, as if he read right through Yosuke’s disaster of a thought process.  


Yosuke plastered the biggest, most convincing smile he could muster. “Yeah! Sorry, partner—just thinking.” Souji didn’t look too convinced and opened his mouth to press forward, but Yosuke quickly cut him off. “So, what were you shopping in Okina for? I swear if it’s more weird costumes Souji—“  


“No, no” Souji laughed, “Although some of those costumes are cute, you have to admit that,” Yosuke shrugged in response, “but I—promise you won’t tell the others—was looking for farewell gifts for you and the rest of the Investigation Team. I thought it would be nice considering all we went through.”  


“Aw man, Souji. That is nice of you, ugh. I’m sorry I ruined your trip there just for this,” Yosuke sighed. He legitimately felt bad. Of course he’d be the one to ruin it.  


“You didn’t ruin anything, Yosuke. There’s still more times I can visit Okina, plus you could help me pick out gifts for the others now; it’s easier this way.”  


Damn Souji and his ability to always know the right things to say.  


“If you say so, partner.” Yosuke couldn’t help but grin.  


“I’ll miss this,” said Souji out of the blue.  


“Huh?” Yosuke questioned, knowing exactly what he meant but he couldn’t help but hear the words himself. It was reassuring that Yosuke wouldn’t be the only one missing him; that he wouldn’t feel the deep gnawing feeling in his stomach at being left behind once more. At least this time it would be by someone who cares.  


“This,” Souji said, motioning towards the area around them. “I just…don’t want you guys to forget about me once I leave, okay?”  


Yosuke paused, shock running throughout his body, making him feel entirely numb. Them? Forget him? Was Souji for real?  


“Souji…” Yosuke whispered, unable to comprehend what he just heard. How could they forget Souji? He should be the one worrying about if Souji would forget him.  


“I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.” Souji sighed and smiled his familiar reassuring smile, the one he used whenever he wanted to calm someone down. Yosuke was sure this one was more to sooth himself, not Yosuke.  


“Look,” Yosuke began, shifting on the icy ledge to face Souji directly, “We’re not going to forget about you. Ever. I promise you that. God, partner, you just—you just mean everything to m—to us. You’ve been there through all our shit, to lead us on with the Adachi situation despite you struggling yourself,” Yosuke put his hands on Souji’s shoulders to further emphasize his point, “That’s amazing. Hell, you’re amazing. Please don’t believe that we’d be able to forget you that easily.” Yosuke felt like he said that in one breath, rushing to get out the important words to his partner. His partner that he didn’t realize was struggling with the same thoughts he had been for weeks now.  


Souji was persistent on avoiding Yosuke’s gaze and continued to stare at the ground. “I,” Souji whispered and then cleared his throat, allowing himself to continue “I appreciate that, Yosuke, but…without my role as leader, what else will I be? “  


Yosuke immediately cut him off. 

“My partner,” Yosuke said a bit too firmly, causing him to blush, “and uh—Big Brother, Sensei, Senpai… Souji, don’t you see? You’re so much more to us than just a leader, man.” So much more, Yosuke wanted to say, but he refrained.  


“I suppose you’re right, I just never have had friends like this before.”  


Yet again, Yosuke felt a piercing shock run throughout him. Seriously how could Yosuke have not noticed all this?  


“The popularity I received when coming here was a shock for me even, all these handfuls of bonds. It hurts to think that once I leave they’d be shattered.”  


“Souji we’re n—“  


“With you guys, I know… I know deep inside that you all won’t do that to me, but I can’t help but be afraid,” Souji laughed quietly, “Even more frightening than fighting shadows.”  


“No matter the distance we’ll all still be friends, you know that, partner.”  


Silence filled the air, the only sound being the crashing of waves in the distance. That was, until Yosuke noticed Souji’s body shaking slightly, enough for anyone who didn’t pay enough attention to notice, but of course, Yosuke did. Souji’s gaze was still cast downward and Yosuke was smart enough to put two and two together. He felt he had to do something to comfort him. After all, Souji had been there for him during his embarrassing Saki breakdown.  


Yosuke inched closer to Souji, being careful not to surprise him. He opened his hoodie slightly, spacing it out so it would allow one more person inside of it. Silently, he draped it over Souji’s body. He really hoped this wasn’t—no now wasn’t the time for that. His partner had tensed up a little from the sudden contact, but slowly relaxed into it.  


“Aren’t you cold? You looked uh, a little cold.” Yosuke said awkwardly, placing his hand behind his neck. Souji looked up at him for the first time since the discussion began and it was obvious that he had been crying, his eyes puffy and stained red. Yosuke, of course, decided against putting his foot in his mouth and ruining the moment. Souji stayed silent and shifted even closer than they originally were, causing Yosuke to flush, and rested his head on the other boy’s shoulder. Yosuke wrapped his free hand around Souji, purely for comfort.  


There it was again. The jumbled feelings Yosuke was oh so familiar to. He really, really wished they would go away and leave him be.  


“Yosuke?” Souji said quietly, lifting his head to look at Yosuke.  


Yosuke, averting his eyes to anywhere but Souji’s face responded, “Yeah?”  


“Thanks,” Souji rested his head against Yosuke’s shoulder again, finding comfort in it, “Really, thank you. I’ll miss you a lot, partner.” Hearing that phrase set a fire inside Yosuke, causing him to do something he would probably regret but for now, for now it was the best possible thing he could think of.  


“Souji,” Yosuke choked, waiting for Souji’s response.  


“Hm?” Souji hummed, looking up at Yosuke.  


Yosuke then leaned forward and kissed Souji. Something he never thought he would do, ever. It was awkward, their noses crashing because Yosuke didn’t think this through that much and Souji was shocked by the sudden declaration. Their teeth clinked together once or twice, causing Yosuke to internally cringe. Yosuke opened his mouth slightly, telling Souji that this was what he wanted. Souji pressed back, allowing him to fall into the kiss. Yosuke really hoped that he didn’t suck at this, this being his first kiss and all. Oh my god, his first kiss, to Souji. Yosuke deepened the kiss and all he could think was wow, both of them really sucked at this, also Souji really tasted like coffee? Did he go to that weird coffee shop that makes him pass out before he came here? Who knew. Also really where was he supposed to put his hands at a time like this? Yosuke gave one last peck to Souji’s lips before quickly pulling away, deciding not to risk putting his hands anywhere.  


When Yosuke pulled away his cheeks were burning and Souji was a mirror image of himself as well, equally as flustered.  


“I’m, oh god, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I really sucked at that, huh? It was my first kiss and well, I just. I just thought—I don’t know what I thought I’m really sorry, partner. I hope I didn’t mess up our friendship or anything it was just a joke! Yeah, a dumb little joke don’t w-“ Yosuke’s blabbering was cut off by Souji’s chapped lips against his. His stomach began to flip, along with a million emotions dancing through his head.  


The kiss was warm and sweet, a thousand times better than the first one but still awkward. It was if they were trying to get used to one another, to find out what was okay and what wasn’t. Souji brought his hands up to rest on Yosuke’s shoulder. At this point, Yosuke decided to rest his hands on Souji’s waist, better than risking looking awkward with them clenched to his sides. It was a really girly position he had to admit, but that thought soon fled his mind when Souji found the courage to deepen the kiss. Yosuke let out a tiny, super embarrassing sound when he decided that he should probably stop before this situation gets more awkward. Pulling away he positioned himself to face the beach again, looking from his hands, to the ocean, to anywhere but Souji’s face.  


He didn’t even notice that Souji had gotten up from their spot and was currently standing up with a hand extended his way. “Well, Yosuke. I think we’ve spent enough, um, time here. Want to go look for those gifts in Okina like I planned?” Yosuke grabbed Souji’s hand, hauling himself off, trying to ignore how nice it felt to hold them even for that split second. 

“Yeah, let’s do that!” They both walked up the staircase and headed on the path towards Okina. “Also, I’m really sorry about before. I don’t really know where that came from. Like I said, I don’t want it to ruin our friendship. I don’t really know what it meant myself.” Souji looked at Yosuke, eyes full of compassion and awe, a look that made Yosuke’s heart skip.  


“It’s okay, Yosuke. I wouldn’t have kissed back if it didn’t mean something to me as well.” The pair continued to walk together, inching closer than usual. “Although it’s going to be a bit harder to say goodbye to you now.” Souji laughed.  


“Tell me about it,” Yosuke whined.  


“So what do we do from here?” Souji asked, genuinely curious. Yosuke stopped mid motion.  


“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m sorry partner.”  


“Well,” Souji said nudging closer to Yosuke, “I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” Souji motioned his hand towards Yosuke, an invitation for him to hold it. Yosuke gulped, nervous and afraid, but too excited to consider those array of emotions. Grinning he grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers.  


“I guess we will, partner. I guess we will.”

**Author's Note:**

> i love souji angst im so sorry  
> honestly i see them both as being pretty horrible kissers but since they both havent kissed anyone else they think its pretty good? idk.  
> thank you for reading!!


End file.
